because it is, indeed, half-done. i had it in mind for an end-0f-march deadline . . .
i have several things that have been out for a long time now. again. there needs to be a word specifically to describe duotrope-based waiting.
i feel a bit blocked right now. there is something odd about finishing a book, then simply putting it aside, while it still needs things—beta readers’ responses, a ****load of research and fact-checking. it gnaws at you.
too, as i get back into the wolves i am finding myself looking back over the last 2+ years and seeing all the ups and downs and thinking how the project has become many things i did not expect, for good and ill. somewhere in my head there is a better version of all of it—better and more beautifully written. only my mind is so cluttered always with other stuff that i’m only able to see little pieces of that better version. like peering through the slats in a fence and writing down what i see.
that is the clearest thing i have written all morning.