i revised the first 50 pages in a blur over the past several days, and it feels . . . better. not so bustling that i’ve made the book something Not-Mine; rather that everyone is moving and doing while they struggle with their grief and confusion. little shifts that have made a lot of difference. also, i took nearly 1000 words out of the bloated 2nd chapter, which brings it more into line with the others for size and pace and whatnot.
little shifts. now, of course, all i have to do is rewrite 3-5 from scratch. which i distinctly remember doing at least once before, and not that long ago either.
have i mentioned that i’m dying to get back to paris? that i have three short story ideas begging to be written? that i owe crits, especially to those who gave me such wonderful feedback on “the queen of lakes”?
. . . all of which also means that i am starting to find my groove again, after all the upsets and burnouts of last year. 🙂 it’s good to have things to look forward to.
on a side note: this has been stuck in my head for days now. it pops back up in my awareness every now and then . . . especially, it seems, in times when things feel so wild, shifting and weaving, and you feel acutely aware of time passing and that some deep sea-change is upon you . . .
though after all these years, it is a wildness laced with bittersweet.